BY DEBORAH HART
Deborah Hart is a musician and qualified ACT practitioner. We’d like to welcome Deborah in her first blog as a CutCommon contributor.
I am a woman on a mission – I want to teach as many people as possible, before I shuffle off this mortal coil, about how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can move you closer to being the performer you truly dream of being.
So what is ACT?
ACT is not simple, and it is not easy. But given time, it is a solution to a very tricky, persistent problem – stage fright.
ACT –pronounced as the word ‘act’ – is about learning to notice thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations, and being willing to allow them to come with you while take action to move in the direction you care about.
For me as an orchestral horn player, sitting on stage before a performance, ACT is about noticing my racing heart, my dry mouth, my urge to run off stage and my memories of last night’s performance when I missed some notes in a big solo. It’s about being willing to sit with those feelings – not pretend they are not there, but allow them to be there; not try to push them away, but even welcome them on board. And then, in that very moment, on that brightly lit stage, it’s about deliberately taking action by choosing to focus my attention on what I care about – making a beautiful, clean and accurate sound, mentally sending energy and connection to the audience, and making my colleagues feel safe by choosing to play confidently as possible.
It sounds simplistic and easy on the page, and it has taken me a few years of working with ACT really use it ‘when the rubber hits the road’; when the conductor points to you in a hushed, expectant 2000-seat concert hall. But I notice that in the past few years, I play a whole lot better under pressure.
More often, I find myself playing the way I always dreamed about.
Why is ACT important?
When I wanted to become a professional musician, I tried so hard to be the very best musician possible. I went to the best teachers I could find, I was open to advice, willing to learn, and practised diligently and thoughtfully. Inexplicably, though, my default position was to fall apart when it really mattered – an audition for a job that I really wanted, an important orchestral performance, a professional recital, a new opportunity with a prestigious chamber group.
The message I would now like to spread far and wide is that there is real help for performance anxiety. I want everyone who is suffering with this to know that there is no need to suffer in silence and desperation as I did. I reckon if I had learnt ACT skills when I started seriously struggling with performing, I strongly believe that I would have performed more confidently, and this would have led to a higher level of success in my career, to a better quality of music-making; and to being offered, and taking, more opportunities to bring joy to people.
The initial problem was that there was no one in the music industry who could explain why I so reliably fell apart; and when I went looking, I could find no effective advice on how do my best when it really counted. As the end of my performing career draws closer, the frustration at not being able to live up to what I see as my full potential under performance pressure is a huge sadness.
What do I do?
In my mission to become the person I needed when I was struggling with this, I have become a qualified counsellor. I have a private practice specialising in ACT for music performance anxiety. I also bring to my work nearly 40 years of experience and skill as a professional musician, as well as having qualifications in education, and expertise as an instrumental music teacher. Alongside this private practice, I also run introductory workshops for universities and schools in ACT for music performance.
I am registered with the Australian Counselling Association, and offer private sessions with musicians who are struggling with these issues to learn about the concerns and experiences getting in the way of the musician and person they want to be. My approach uses counselling strategies and ACT processes like metaphors and mindfulness exercises as some of the helpful ways of developing flexible thinking.
My aim is that my sessions will help musicians to reduce stress and anxiety around performance. But beyond this, to help musicians become clearer about why they play music, how they want to play, and take steps to move closer to performing the way they had always hoped.
Three ways you can start incorporating ACT into your musical life:
- Begin to notice your thoughts, feelings and sensations while you practice with curiosity and kindness
- Nuture a willingness to allow these internal experiences to come and go like clouds in the sky
- Take action by learning to focus your mind’s attention away from these internal experiences, toward the music and how you really want to play
If you would like to find out more about ACT, visit Deborah’s website www.actformusic.com. To get to know your mind better and learn some attention techniques, try headspace.com. For Australian mental health support, visit headspace or Lifeline.
