BY STEPHANIE ESLAKE
The Metropolitan Opera. Paris Opera. New York Philharmonic. Boston Symphony Orchestra. Vienna Philharmonic.
These are just a few of the leading orchestras around the world with which American mezzo soprano Michelle DeYoung has performed. And yet, she’s suffered stage fright throughout her entire career.
Michelle DeYoung was born in Michigan, and studied her music degree in California. Her voice has seen her perform famous works across the world – and has awarded her three Grammys. But it hasn’t come easy, and Michelle says she’s faced a long-term struggle with stage fright.
“I’m always very nervous before I go on stage. I’ve had cold hands, and I always have to go to the bathroom before I go on. Even if I’ve already gone, I’ll have to go again,” she says.
Even getting to the venue used to come as a challenge, with a fear of flying that made her “get on a plane and just start crying”.
“But I knew I didn’t want it to stop me, so I just kept getting on planes.”
In the same way, Michelle is still nervous on the stage – but it’s never stopped her from getting up there and giving it a go. Well, perhaps more accurately, it’s never stopped her from getting up there and leaving her audiences awestruck by her talent.
“I think with any fear, we have to face them. Because in some ways, fear doesn’t make sense. Once I get on [stage], I’m fine. You just do it.”
“It has gotten in the way of making me feeling as good about something, because you need a lot of confidence. But it’s never stopped me.”
Before she steps out in front of her audiences, Michelle keeps to a comforting routine of pre-concert preparation.
“I always prepare, warm up really well, and then just kind of do positive self-talk. I like to be at the theatre early just to really get my focus and warm up slowly and go over the piece. No matter what it is, even if I know it really well, I’ll always go over the whole thing. Once the music starts, I’m fine.”
These days, Michelle says her nerves are more about “just really wanting to do well”.
The performance she considers her most powerful was during the 10th anniversary of 9/11, when she sang Mahler’s Symphony No. 2 for the New York Philharmonic. It was broadcast on television, and the live audience in front of her was filled with survivors and family members of those affected by the World Trade Centre attack.
“I shook – that time I shook – because it was emotional more than nerves. I actually thought that it was the worst thing I’d ever done, and I sat down thinking, ‘I’m so sorry’, but I couldn’t control it, I was so emotional. And it turned out to be quite good, so it was nice.”
Her compassion for her audience and country may be attributed to the best piece of advice she says she has ever received: “Stay in the moment”.
Image supplied. Credit: Kristin Hobermann.
This story also features in Warp Magazine.
