BY CUTCOMMON
Ever listened to a piece that you couldn’t get out of your head for days, months, even years?
So have we. And we’ve compiled a list of the most annoying works ever written – just for your enjoyment and eternal frustration. You have been warned.
10. Stravinsky: Firebird Suite, Danse Infernale
I remember playing it (quite shockingly) in school orchestra. Even though it was the most obscure piece for school aged children to be playing, we would spend many other classes shrieking the themes at the top of our voices. We renamed it Disco Infernal. – Ben Nielsen
9. Smetana: Slavonic Dances, Op.72
Smetana’s dances are far too boisterous for their own good. It’s impossible to listen to his madly catchy tunes without: A. headbanging, or B. punching your fist into the air like a madwoman. I would highly avoiding Smetana at all costs – unless, of course, you’re a masochist. – Stephanie Eslake
8. Handel: Messiah, Hallelujah
Handel knew the power of repetitive lyrics far sooner than Justin Bieber. But why, oh why, did he have to make the piece so joyful? SE
7. Wagner: Ride of the Valkyries
Wagner, famous anti-semite and closet mysogynist, wrote Ride of the Valkyries as part of a three-day long opera. Many a day have I spent walking along the footpath with French horns blowing my brains out while strings scuttle along and pick up the pieces. – Gabrielle Ruttico
6. Beethoven: Symphony No. 5 in C Minor
When will he realise, ain’t nobody got time for that? – Ben Nielsen
5. Mozart: Symphony No. 40 in G minor, K.550
While the temptation to document each of Mozart’s works on this list is overwhelming (namely, Eine Kleine Nachtmusik and every piano concerto he ever wrote), I’ve decided to narrow it down to his Symphony No. 40. As if it wasn’t annoying enough, we really needed to hear the Molto Allegro blasting from every ringing mobile phone in the early 2000s, didn’t we? –SE
4. Vivaldi: The Four Seasons, Summer
Summer is one of those strange works from the period before everybody quite knew exactly what was up yet. It’s also ludicrously popular, particularly among school orchestras – who routinely murder the poor thing. Vivaldi’s frustratingly catchy melodies are also a constant challenge to hum. – Andrew Messenger
3. Schubert: Trout Quintet
A lecturer in my first year of uni once sang along to the opening phrase of Schubert’s Trout quintet: “I am a little trout-y.” What made it worse was that he skipped around the podium while he sang it. I have never been the same since. – Megan Burslem
2. Beethoven: Moonlight Sonata
What high school music room isn’t home to at least one terrible piano student cranking out the repetitive triplets of Beethoven’s sonata with all the passion of the composer himself? That student may have turned you off the piece forever, but trust me, it’ll continue to torture his or her own soul well into eternity (I am regretfully too aware of this). SE
1. Ravel: Boléro
Easily the most irritating work ever created, Ravel himself was critical of the piece, saying the works had “no form, properly speaking, no development, no or almost no, modulation”. This much is true, but Boléro is also a beautiful example of a piece that takes a very small idea and spins it out to about 20 minutes. Along this journey, the theme to Boléro is re-orchestrated over and over, building gradually to the inevitably powerful and satisfying finish. But such beauty doesn’t make Boléro any less frustrating to listen to. The continuous repetition seems to loop effortlessly in on itself, so that given the appropriate stimulus – say, a doorbell that coincidentally mirrors an interval from halfway through the theme – will set you off in a this-is-the-song-that-neverends style loop, until you are finally driven to blast some Wagner to help drive Boléro from your mind. There it will lay dormant until your editor requests a short passage on the piece of music you find the most irritating and the whole horrible cycle can begin again. – Sam Gillies
Follow through to the recording at your own risk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK23BhEQVyU
